A Reminder

           It’s been a while since I posted anything.  This year has been insane, a lot of changes, all at once.  It’s been wonderful!  But also incredibly stressful.  I’ve missed writing these posts, they tend to help me relax, they allow me to get things off my mind and on to paper instead…

                

           The last few years I had fallen in to a routine.  The same house, the same job, the same schedule, the same everything, day after day after day after day.  As I’ve documented on here a few times, that sameness and that routine didn’t help my mental state very much, I needed some change… Well, now that the change has come, life is moving pretty fast, and changing along with my life, is my state of mind. 

                

           I’m not saying that everything is great.  I’m not saying that introducing some change to my life has suddenly caused the sun to start shining, the birds to be singing, and for chimney sweeps to be dancing on roof tops…

With all this change comes a different mental state.  I can’t quite explain it yet.  It’s not bad, but it’s not always good either.  It’s kind of like the power flickering during a storm; the lights are on, everything’s fine, then suddenly for just a couple seconds (or a day or two), everything goes dark.  The lights come back on quickly, but there’s still that question, “what if they don’t?”

Ultimately, these are my issues, they don’t concern any of my readers, and they are certainly problems that I have learned how to handle.  I’m not writing this blog just for me and my neuroses today.  I’m writing it for those of you out there who may need a reminder.

For those of you whose lives have fallen into a routine that spirals downward with no end in sight, or for those of you who feel like you have so much going on that you can’t breathe.  This post is for you. 

Everyone has times when they struggle.  Maybe life feels stagnant and you just want some change, something to spark in your life.  Or maybe you’re at the opposite end of the spectrum and you feel the demands of the world closing in, overwhelming you, and you simply need a break. 

I’m not an expert, and chances are that I don’t know how to help you specifically.  Maybe though, all you need is a reminder… A reminder to:

Try something new.  I know it can be scary, but breaking out of your comfort zone can give you the opportunity to experience something you never would have thought possible.  Each of our lives are full of limitless opportunities, but we sometimes allow ourselves to believe that how things are now, is the only way they can ever be.  We tell ourselves stories and convince ourselves that the job/relationship/home/routine that we are currently in is the only one we could reasonably be in for some reason or another… but it’s not true.  Break the mold, do something new, something that scares you, even if it’s something small.  It may lead to greater things than you realize.

Take time to do the things that make you happy.  When our lives get busy and hectic, it’s easy to let the little things, the things that we don’t view as “essential”, fall in to obscurity.  We shove them aside and say “tomorrow, next week, some other time”.  But those little things, those things we don’t think are important, they’re what make us smile and provide us with an escape, no matter how temporary.  Even though they may seem like a waste of valuable time, don’t forget that your happiness is just as valuable, if not more.

Just breathe.  Life can overwhelm us in an instant, and other times it happens slowly, over years.  When it seems like all is lost, when it seems like there is no end in sight, don’t forget to take time to just breathe.  Go outside, go alone, and let go of it all, even if only for a moment. 

Lean on the people who are there for you.  Your friends, your family, whomever it may be, there are people in your life that care, and that want to help.  Maybe they don’t know how to say it, maybe they assume you know they’re there, or maybe neither of you wants to be the one to speak up.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, you may not always get it, but it won’t hurt to ask.  Sometimes all you need is someone to listen to you, and I promise that if you ask, there will be someone there for that. 

Take one step at a time.  Nothing will be fixed overnight.  If you try to solve everything at once and in one fell swoop, you’re only adding to your stress.  I know this may not be what you want to hear, but chipping away at your problems, little by little, is far more effective than balling up everything bothering you and trying to get rid of it all at once. 

Never give up.  I've felt hundreds of times (and still do occasionally) that I'd be better off if I scrapped everything and retreated into a life of quiet solitude.  Sometimes I just want to retreat from one part of life; work, home, friends, finances, etc. Other times I want to leave it all behind and start somewhere new with a clean slate.  But it won't work... that retreat is what the monsters under my bed and in my head want.  As annoying/painful/frivolous as all the little things and connections may seem at the moment, they are the only things that have ever truly pulled anyone out of a downward spiral. So don't run away, don't retreat inside yourself and think that this will pass on its own.  Always strive, no matter how arduous that journey may seem.

                To summarize, we all need reminders now and again, myself most certainly included.  So remember:

Try something new

                Who knows what it could lead to?

Take time to do the things that make you happy

                No matter how small they may seem, they’re important.

Breathe

                With each breath, the world will slow down for you.

Lean on the people that are there for you

                There are people that care, and they may surprise you.

Take one step at a time

                When climbing a mountain, one step at a time is more effective than trying to jump over the whole thing.

Never give up

                Running from your problems will never solve them, they’ll just follow you in some way.

A Quick Update

                At the beginning of this year I didn’t exactly make a new year’s resolution.  Instead I promised myself that I would keep an open mind, and enjoy life as it happened to me.  I didn’t want to try to force my life in to a specific direction; instead I wanted to be sure that I kept it moving forward, no matter what that entailed.

                Now that we’re a few months into the year, I’m happy to report that this pseudo-resolution seems to be the most successful one I’ve ever made!  The last couple of months have been absolutely insane, but in a great way.

                I’ve begun the search for a new place to live, with the goal of being out of this house (which I’ve been in for the last seven years) by the beginning of June.  I’ve considered buying a house and have talked to a mortgage lender and a couple realtors in regards to that thought.  However, after looking at what I could be approved for and the housing market in Reno as it is now, I’m fairly certain I’m going to find a place to rent for another year, and reconsider buying next year.  Nonetheless, I’m excited about the prospect of a new place.  I’ve loved this house for the last seven years, but a change of scenery would be welcome.

                Secondly, I’ve been thinking of leaving my job for years now, wanting to find something new… That time has finally come around.  I gave my two weeks’ notice not too long ago, and will start my new job around the middle of this month. 

                It’s a great opportunity, and as scary as it is to leave a job where I had so much job security, it’s a prospect that I just can’t pass up.  There will be new networking opportunities, chances to grow professionally, and to really expand my horizons in order to find out more of what I’m capable of.  So although I’m nervous, it’s a very good and exciting kind of nervousness coursing through me at the moment.

                Finally, I’ve gone on a couple dates that I’ve really enjoyed.  At this point I’m going to be a little quiet on the subject... on the off chance that she reads this, I’ll be a tad embarrassed.  Still, I feel I should say something, because it's certainly worth mentioning...

This is the first time in years that someone has given me that old, schoolyard feeling of butterflies in my stomach.  Not to mention that I get a big, dumb grin plastered onto my face after every time I see her. 

On top of that, I so far seem to have avoided lodging my foot firmly in my mouth; and have somehow kept myself from revealing that I’m about as smooth as Michael J. Fox wearing a wing-suit in a hurricane.  No matter what happens from this point on, those things have all got to be good signs for my future. 

    

To summarize this quick update, my decision at the beginning of the year, to simply act on the opportunities that life presents me in 2016, has thus far been a wise one.  These past couple of months have certainly kept me on my toes, but they’ve been great.  So I’ll enjoy these changes as I look forward to the rest of the year.

I hope that some of you have been having a similar experience and that, no matter what, you’re keeping yourselves open to the chances that life presents you.  Not everything will turn out perfectly, but if you keep an open mind, you can see the good and the bad and make your decisions accordingly.

As a quick ending note, it may be due in large part to daylight savings time, or the nice weather (or possibly my Fitbit subtly blinking in order to encourage me to get up and do something), but I’ve been getting out and hiking more lately.  The weather is wonderful, and (assuming you’re in Reno as you read this) we live in a beautiful place for getting outside.  So go for a hike, a run, ride a bike, whatever suits you… and maybe we’ll see each other floating down the river soon. 

Quick question, WTH is going on?

I have a question.  It could be a rhetorical one, but if someone can give me a response, especially a well thought out one, I’d sure appreciate it…

Today (02/23/16) Nevada held its republican caucus, and so far in the republican race for the nomination, Donald Trump is commanding a significant lead over the competition… That’s right, Donald Trump… is winning… Which brings me to my question. 

Dear republicans, WHAT THE FUCK?!

Real quick, I’d like to take a moment to remind you all of some of the greatest moments in the history of the Republican Party; because I feel like the GOP has become vilified in recent years, especially by my own generation (though this could be in part due to the RNC’s total inability to handle their own shit). 

First and foremost, please oh please remember, that the first Republican president is still commonly considered one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) president in our history, and one of the greatest leaders in world history… Abraham Lincoln.

That’s right, if you weren’t aware, Lincoln was a Republican.  And only 6 years before he was elected, was when the Republican Party was formed.  Why was it formed?  Well its primary goal was to stop the spread of slavery into the western territories, and to work on abolishing it from the US entirely.  Guess what?  They succeeded.  After an incredible amount of political strife, war, and blood spilled. (Jefferson Davis was the president of the Confederate States during the Civil War.  Know what political party he belonged to?  Hint: it starts with a “D” and rhymes with “Bemocrat”.)

Moving on… Women’s suffrage!  Remember when women weren’t allowed to vote because the common belief was that their brains were smaller than men’s, and that meant that they were too dumb to engage in politics?  The Republican Party, led by Senator Aaron Sargent of California, stood by Susan B. Anthony and suffrage movement.  They eventually proposed and passed the 19^th amendment to the constitution in order to allow people to vote regardless of the genitalia they possess… you know, common sense stuff. 

Later, under the guidance and leadership of another great American president (Theodore Roosevelt, my personal favorite), who happened to be a Republican, the Panama Canal was built.  Think of the incredible engineering feat that the canal still is to this day… and how vital it still is to trade routes and economies around the world.   

Do you recall when children weren’t allowed to go to certain schools based upon the color of their skin?  About 60 years ago?  Remember how ridiculous the idea of segregated schools was?  It was an idea that was upheld and perpetuated by the Democratic Party, and was eventually overturned by Dwight Eisenhower and the Republican Party.  He then sent in the military as a show of force in Little Rock, AR in order to ensure that the Little Rock Nine could go to whichever school they damn well pleased, no matter their skin tone, against the vehement wishes of the Democratic governor of Arkansas.

56 years ago the Civil Rights Act was signed by Eisenhower.  It took him almost a week to sign it though… because 18 Democratic senators filibustered it for 125 hours straight (that’s a solid 5 days + 5 hours). 

Ronald Reagan championed and signed the United Nations Convention Against Torture throughout his presidency.  He was extremely vocal in his stance against any form of torture against anyone in the world, for any reason whatsoever, as is stated in the Convention that he signed. 

Under primarily Republican leadership, the US “won” the Cold War with one of the largest military superpowers in the history of mankind, the Soviet Union.  How this came about was extremely complex and some aspects of the “victory” were beautifully executed, other were, admittedly, not great… (Training and supplying afghan rebels, including Osama Bin Laden, for war and ONLY war… yeah… don’t do that.)  Still, won the Cold War without launching a single attack or declaring war.

Sure, the Republican Party has taken a sharp downturn in morality and effectiveness in recent years, but hopefully this list has so far reminded you why the Republican Party is called the Grand Old Party.  And hopefully you’ll remember\realize that in history, no one’s hands are truly clean…  

Now, let’s take a look at the values and the history of the current Republican front runner for the nomination… Donnie Trump…

 

            Donnie thinks he knows what qualifies someone as “presidential” and what doesn’t… For instance, a president doesn’t take a bathroom break and doesn’t look like this… 

But DOES look like this…

            And while Donnie consistently got out of any military service in his youth, despite his “astonishingly excellent” health… He does apparently know what constitutes a war hero, and what doesn’t… 

            Also, Donnie says that he knows better how to deal with Black Lives Matter protesters than Bernie Sanders does…  Meanwhile…  And… 

            Let’s also not forget Donnie’s opinion of women:

            Or, remember that time he called Ted Cruz a “pussy”  because he wouldn’t say he condoned waterboarding?

            Perhaps you’d like to be reminded of his opinion on Muslims and Syrian refugees?  

            

            In summary, the GOP over the last decade has been portrayed as old, out of touch, combative, discriminatory, and frankly a teensy bit annoying.  But that party was great once.  There was a time when the Republican Party was a shining beacon of morality and hope that led us through some of the darkest moments in our history. 

            Some of those times weren’t so long ago, in fact, many of them took place during the lifetimes of every single one of the current presidential candidates… which begs the question, how did things get this fucked up?

            Donnie claims that he wants to “Make America Great Again” (a slogan which he stole, word for word from Reagan’s campaign in 1980)… Well, back when the Republican Party was great; during the abolition of slavery, the women’s suffrage movement, the civil rights movement, and the cold war era, it was great because it stood against everything that Trump stands for. 

            When I originally started writing this, I intended for it to be funny.  I wanted to poke fun at Donnie and point out just how ludicrous he is.  But that’s because I started writing it months ago.  He’s not funny anymore.  I mean, he is, kind of… but more than that, he scares me.  He genuinely scares me. 

            Maybe it’s my paranoia speaking to me, but when I look back at history, Trump’s political rise is eerily similar to how some of the worst dictators in human history came to power: 

They pandered to a nation that was angry, a nation that was tired of the status quo and that felt it had been abused by the powers that be. 

They spoke about using a strong hand, and taking back what was theirs.  These men promised retribution and dominance through strength.

They whipped their crowds into a frenzy.  They demeaned their opponents, implying that they were less than human, and certainly not fit to lead.

Anyone not involved in the movement dismissed it as a spectacle, sure to pass in no time.

However, when people would protest against them, the leaders would encourage their followers to use violence in order to silence the protesters. 

When the violence grew, they institutionalized it, creating their own security organizations. 

While all of this happened, the anger in the nation grew, and those that opposed the party began to show fear.  Fear of speaking out against these men, fear of the violence they used, but most of all a fear of the anger that was washing over the nation.

Those that sat back and didn’t participate believed that the anger would pass.  They believed that it was a phase, that perhaps the anger was necessary, for a time; but that the leaders of the movement were too extreme, and that they would never be able to accomplish what they promised, so why worry?

The nation became divided between those that gave into the anger and became a part of the frenzy, and those that stood by, believing that this extremism wouldn’t last, and that it couldn’t happen to them. 

The few voices that remained against the movement were either silenced or forced to leave their homes.

Then Poland was invaded.

This, ladies and gents, is the story of how the National Socialist German Workers’ Party came into power under a man named Adolf Hitler. 

            I know, I know… people throw around Hitler comparisons all the time, and it gets dismissed as hyperbole… and maybe that’s all this is, maybe I’m overreacting.  But encouraging violence from his followers, claiming that victory (even over unknown adversaries) is a necessity at any cost, dehumanizing anyone who opposed him as well as an entire religion, and manipulating a tidal wave of anger, hatred, and fear… those were the cornerstones of Hitler’s rise to power. 

            Back then people believed that it couldn’t happen to them, they believed that reason would win out over fear and hatred.  They were wrong.  So I ask you, is there a possibility, even a small one, that we’re wrong too?  And is that possibility a risk that we are willing to take?

            Finally, I will end this post on a humorous note.  After all, if I learned anything from Professor Remus Lupin of Hogwarts, it’s that the best way to overcome our fears, is to laugh at them.  Also, let’s be honest… as scary as Trump can be, anyone would be hard pressed to find an easier target for jokes.

            I’m not saying that he’s an idiot whose grasp of the English language maxes out after 140 characters.  

            I’m not saying that he’s actually Biff Tannen from Back to the Future or that he reminds me of an older, vaguely American Augustus Gloop on the verge of falling into a river of chocolate.

            Also, I would never say that his list of past marriages resembles spam from a mail-order bride website.

            And I would certainly never say that his grasp on reality is thinner than his hair.

            You know what’s really disgusting though?  What’s really disgusting is the people that say he looks like a misshapen, lumpy scrotum that lost a fight with a cheap can of spray-on-tan, or that his hair looks like a merkin (don’t know what a merkin is?  Google it, thank me later.) 

            I would also never point out that his fingers are freakishly short (Google that too) and paired with his face and his attitude, frequently remind me of Chucky.

            No, I would never say any of these things.  In fact, the people that DO say these things, they’re disgusting and rude.  It’s horrible.  Just horrible.  Who would say that?  Not me, I’m not gonna say that, no.  But I can’t control what other people say, they’re very passionate after all.  I can’t stop them from saying those things.

            I will say this though… don’t forget that Donnie wants to bang his daughter… 

A Look Back at 2015 and a Wish for 2016

                As 2015 comes to a close, I feel the need to recap the year.  Every year is a big one, and especially the last few have been fairly trans-formative for me.  The past 12 months though, I feel like I’ve taken personal steps that 2, 3, 4 …8, or even 9 years ago, I would never have believed possible.  So here’s a quick recap of a few of the changes I’ve made over the last year…

                                                                                                                                               

     First and foremost, as the year closes out, I feel I’ve gotten to the point where I can talk about the steps I’ve taken and the growth that I’ve made over the last few years.  I can tell people about all of it when they ask, without being horribly uncomfortable.

               

     During my third annual pilgrimage through Oregon and Washington for the Sasquatch Music Festival, I rediscovered some of my independence.  For the previous two years that early summer vacation had been about finding a community or a summertime love story, and those trips were great!  However, this time I repeatedly went off on my own and found that I could have just as great a time all by myself in a sea of strangers, if need be.

               

                I’ve realized that we are each responsible not only for our strengths but also for our flaws.  We are made into who we are by our failures just as we are by our successes; and to attempt to hide one or the other is to head down a dangerous path that leads us to force ourselves to be someone that we’re not.  My life is more enjoyable when I accept the bad with the good and find a balance.

                As a continuation of the statement above, I believe that in order to truly love yourself, you have to cherish your flaws just as much as your strengths.  Likewise, those people that love us the most love us because of our flaws, not despite them. 

               

                In 2015, through a series of revelations and realizations, I seem to have stumbled into a secure state of self-esteem that I can safely say I’ve never had before.  I’m looking forward to exploring this new found confidence.

                                                                                                                                               

     Now, to this point, this post has been all about me, but 2015 was a big year for a lot of people.  So let’s take a quick look back at the things that we covered and/or learned in the past year.

               

                Our 2015 began with a lesson in love.  It’s a lesson that I hope we all learn again and again throughout our lives.  While there are plenty of potential goals to reach for as we progress through life, there may not be any more important than love.

               

                Our imaginations are potentially boundless, but we have to use them in order for them to become so.  Never let your imagination go to waste… daydream, drift off, get lost in your own little world and when you come back from your journeys, maybe you will have learned something that will help you in this big world that we all share.

               

                Don’t underestimate sports as a vehicle for cultural change.  They may take quite a while to get momentum and bring about the change they need to.  But once they build up that momentum, they’re nearly unstoppable. 

               

     Blue and black can apparently look exactly like white and gold. 

               

                Over the last 12 months, the esteemed Shounak Bagchi has helped teach us some lessons as well, the first of which is that diversity in our lives is a commodity that we seem to be pulling back from, to our own detriment.  Therefore, on his behalf, I would like to challenge each of my readers, and myself, to befriend someone new in 2016… someone from a different culture, background, race, religion, political affiliation, anything.  Expand your horizons, learn new things, and appreciate differences.

               

                We learned that Tom Durham still has an impeccable ability to summarize my thoughts into a few perfectly succinct sentences… 

               

                In 2015 we lost one of the great literary minds of our time.  Terry Pratchett’s writing isn’t quite as popular in the US as it is in the rest of the world, but that doesn’t change the fact that he spent his life taking the world as it is and shaping it into a funhouse mirror that we could all stand in front of to laugh at ourselves.  Hopefully the hundreds of lessons that he learned and shared with the world will spread. 

                Much like an American Terry Pratchett on Television, Jon Stewart (and those that have followed in his footsteps) showed us that humor can be an incredibly effective tool for cultural change and education.

               

                The world found out that Drake should not seek a career in interpretive dance.  

               

     Next we were treated to a couple more lessons from the esteemed Monsieur Shounak Bagchi.  The first being that television has changed drastically over the years, and that this just may be the golden age of storytelling.  

     The other lesson was that we, as a society, have allowed the quality of our apologies to fall into disrepair; and that it may be a large contributing factor to the sorry state of our political system as well as our own personal relationships.  We have to truly mean it when we say “sorry” and remember that actions speak louder than words. 

               

     Toward the end of the year, we hopefully were reminded that the lessons we were taught as children and have subsequently forgotten are just as important today as they were the day we learned them, if not more so.  Coming together and making an effort to understand and help those that are different from ourselves could be the most essential step we can take to make this world a little better. 

               

                In 2015 we learned that the universe, and even just the solar system, is an amazing and thrilling place that supplies us with thousands of new mysteries every time we solve one. 

               

                We discovered that some media franchises are able to make an entire fan base lose their minds with one simple announcement… 

                                                                                                                                               

                To close out this post and this year, I’m not making any new year’s resolutions.  After all, life will continue to happen to me, and the only goal that’s worth setting is to enjoy that life in every way possible as it happens.

                I will however, make a wish.  (I got the idea from Neil Gaiman… 

               

                I hope you smile every day.  A big, face-creasing, wrinkle-causing, goofy-looking, eye-watering smile.

                I hope you cry.  Whether from joy, sorrow, beauty, or love; I hope you feel something so deeply that you’re moved to tears, and I hope that it happens more often than you want to admit.

                I hope you learn new things.  Maybe you’ll learn trivial facts (did you know that Winston Churchill’s mother was from Brooklyn?), and hopefully you’ll also learn things that change the way you see the world around you.

                I hope you get lost in thought.  Let your mind wander to faraway places and explore the farthest reaches of your imagination.  When you snap back to reality, bring something back with you.

                I hope, that just once in the next year, everything falls apart… your plans, your hopes, your dreams, everything.  And in that moment, you see something new.  I don’t know what that something will be, but make sure that you’re open to it, because it will be beautiful, and it just might change your world.

                I hope that something scares you.  I hope you feel that gut-wrenching, deer-in-the-headlights, paralyzing fear, and that you let it in.  Embrace your fear, because only when we’re afraid can we truly be brave, and only when we're brave can we reach the goals we want the most.  So do things that scare you, find your bravery, and reach your goals.

                I hope you stop and admire something beautiful; not once, but every day.  Maybe it’ll be the sunset as you drive home from work, perhaps it will be the architecture in a city that you’re visiting, or the face of the person you love as they wake up in the morning.  No matter what you choose to admire, beauty surrounds us constantly, so take the time to appreciate it, and know that it can be found in the most unlikely of places.

                Lastly, and most importantly, I hope you love someone and that you find/spend time with someone who loves you in return.

                Happy New Year, I’ll see you in 2016. 

A Hand Up

Xenophobia:

Fear and hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything that is strange or foreign

Last week the world was shocked by a brutal attack against the people of Paris. 

A day before that, Beirut was attacked with similarly savage tactics in the form of suicide bombings. 

In October a man entered a community college in Roseburg, Oregon and killed nine people before committing suicide.

A couple of months ago, our nation mourned the murder of a congregation in a church in South Carolina.

This year has been marked by highly publicized riots and deaths in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, and dozens of other sites around the US.

Approximately 7 months ago, nearly 150 university students in Kenya were massacred while attending class.

In 2013 two brothers bombed the Boston Marathon, killing 3 and wounding hundreds.

In 2011 a man carried out two horrendous attacks in Norway, killing dozens and wounding hundreds of others.

The list continues, on and on and on.  Terrorist attacks, hate crimes, murders, etc.  None of these crimes were directly related, though a certain group has claimed responsibility for many of them. 

Everything on this list is horrible, everything on this list is tragic, and everything on this list was caused by fear. 

                

            Experts, media, talking heads, writers, Twitter and Facebook users all give varying opinions about why these things happen.  Perhaps it’s mental illness, racism, religious extremism, a lack of gun control, or some other motive.  I’m not saying that those reasons aren’t largely responsible, but perhaps they aren’t the only explanations as to why these tragedies happen.

                

            Fear is more than just the reason that we jump when we see a spider or an excuse for not riding roller coasters.  Fear is a basic human emotion, it is an aspect of our existence that can’t be overcome or eradicated.  Fear is what keeps us alive.  By facing our fears, we can be pushed to greater heights, and fear is what inspires us to make changes in our own lives as well as the world around us.

                

            Despite all of that, fear is something that we shun on a consistent basis.  We hide our fears and deny that we have any at all.  And when we do that they fester, they become something else, something dark and twisted.  When they’re hidden and denied, our fears stop inspiring us to greater heights and instead they drive us into senselessness and other, more destructive emotions.

                

            One fear in particular, when it is denied and left to fester, spawns the thoughts and the emotions that are ultimately leading to the tragedies listed above.  That fear is xenophobia, a fear of all things strange or foreign. 

                

            When I say, “foreign”, I don’t want you to think of only people from other countries.  Instead, think of anyone that you view as “different”.  Anyone that you think of as “other” would fall into this category.  Maybe they follow a different religion, they’re from a different generation, they love someone different, or they simply look different… no matter what the difference is you shouldn’t be afraid of it. 

                

            Our fears can be great tools when we acknowledge them and face them.  They exist for a reason.  But when we bury them, or we accept them as hard facts despite their irrationality, they become harmful.

                

            Xenophobia in particular becomes more than a fear, it grows into hatred.  A hatred of anyone different than yourself.  A hatred that cuts you off from parts of humanity just like a tourniquet left on an otherwise healthy body. 

                

            This ends up becoming a fear that affects more than just one person.  Those who let it control them alienate those around them.  In times of desperation, people will seek help from anywhere they can, but when they are rejected by the xenophobic, their own fears grow.  They grow into hate.  Xenophobia creates copies of itself in the very people that are the subject of the original fear, like a virus.

                

            It’s a vicious cycle that can only be broken by someone facing their fear and welcoming those that scare them into their lives.  We can only truly combat these acts of fear and hatred by showing compassion and attempting to bridge the gap between ourselves and those people that we view as different.

Every day I hear and see people that are adamant about turning away those in need of help.  Sometimes it’s the poor in their own community, sometimes immigrants from Mexico or other countries, and most recently it’s in regards to the Syrian refugees, fleeing the terror of their war-torn homeland. 

When I hear and see people rail against the idea of opening our homes and our lives to these people, all I can think of is the very first lesson in ethics that I ever learned… “Treat others as you want to be treated”.

At what point in our lives did we allow ourselves to forget this message?

When did we reach the point where we let our fears overshadow the lessons we were taught as children? 

How could we have allowed our fear of others to erase the most basic level of morality from our hearts?

Terrorism, by definition, thrives on fear; primarily our fear of each other.  Its goal is to divide us; because apart, we are weak.  By refusing to unite all people against one common enemy, we are weakening ourselves, and we are doing the terrorist’s jobs for them. 

It doesn’t matter what race, gender, class, age, religion, sexuality, political party, or nationality a person associates themselves with, their most defining characteristic is that they are human.  Before all else, that person next to you is just as human as the person shown on the news, fleeing from tragedy or sleeping on the street.

This of course means that the terrorists are human as well.  They are people (of all different races and religions, just because ISIS is the most prominent one now, doesn’t mean that Dylann Roof isn’t a terrorist), people that have allowed their fears to take over their minds to such an extent that they resort to causing these inhumane acts.  They sacrifice their humanity in an effort to destroy everyone’s.

They want to spread that fear and that terror to everyone, because they truly believe that the hatred and destruction they are spreading is the best solution for their own fears. 

Countless times throughout human history, they have been proven wrong.

Time and time again, it is shown that fear and hatred are NOT what can save us from ourselves or from the darkest parts of our existence.  Rather, a concerted effort to understand, accept, and even help one another, no matter our differences, has upheld a belief that too few among us still share… Love is better than hate.

The perpetrators of the atrocities across the globe that wish to divide us, those people that want to turn us against each other and sew fear in to the very fabric of our existence… they can be defeated.  Not with more fear, or divisive hatred, not by closing our doors, our borders, our hearts, or our minds; but with love and understanding. 

I wish it were possible to show every person on earth this fact, and to make even the terrorists see the error of their ways, but I don’t believe that potential exists.  Some people are too far gone, and yes, military and police action will be necessary.  We cannot save every life, or prevent every tragedy.  To believe otherwise is unfortunately naive.

Though it will be necessary to take action and to go to war against those that would see us tear each other apart, I truly believe that it is even more necessary to reach across whatever borders we perceive, either real or imaginary, and to offer help to those that need it.

If we don’t, if we shun our duty to humanity, then we leave only a legacy of vacancy to our future generations.  We will be those that turned our backs on the world when it needed us most.

I will not give in to the fears that those trying to divide us are forcing upon the world.

I will not allow hate to dictate my actions.

For those that I don’t yet understand, I will do my best to change that.

For those that I disagree with, I will not let that stop me from offering a hand up when needed.

It has taken me years to fully realize this final lesson, but I know now that I am not alone, and in fact, none of us are.  We are in this life together, and though none of us may make it out alive, that is no reason not to help each other strive to be the absolute best that humanity has to offer.

There is only one way in which I will allow my fears to dictate my life… By facing them, I learn the direction that I must go in order to become the person that I want to be.

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.” – Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

If you want to keep thinking on this topic, I suggest watching this…

And finally, to steal a bit from my favorite fantasy football analyst at Footballguys…

“I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together. 

Peace and Grace to you.”