31.12.16

What a Year...

I’ve promised/planned so many blogs that I haven’t delivered on in the last few months.  Still, I’ve got to AT LEAST do one to wrap up the year of 2016, so I’m going to try to cram in all of the ones I’ve been meaning to do, Cliff’s Notes style, before getting to the meat of my New Year’s post…

The Grand Experiment (Results):

Remember when I said I was going to try out a few dating apps, to see what they’re like?  Yeah, I did that.  My opinion of them at the end?.... Meh... 


Match cost money, and yet I didn’t get much activity on it.  I would get a match here and there, but not very many that truly caught my eye.  Those that did really catch my eye, I would send them a message or something and then would never hear back from them (typically).  After a while, and when talking to a couple of my matches, it became apparent that Match.com’s algorithms give your profile more attention in the last couple of days of your paid membership.  Then you get even more push after your membership expires.
 
Since I let my membership expire, I have had twice as many matches reach out to me as I did when I was paying… Though since I’m not paying, I don’t have access to see those matches or the ability to respond to them.  It’s a trap.


As for Bumble… I got really few matches on that app.  Also, most of the few that I did get, wouldn’t say a word.  As a reminder, Bumble is the app where the woman HAS to make the first move.  When you both swipe right, she’s the only one that can send the first message.  I only had two actually send me a message, and one of them ended up being a friend, who borrowed someone’s phone and messaged me for her.  I don’t know why I got so little communication on Bumble… Maybe people just aren’t using it that much, maybe my profile/pictures suck, or maybe some of the women on there are realizing how difficult it can be to make the first move…

And finally, Tinder.  I talked to and even met a handful of people through this that are fun and interesting.  I went on a few dates.  They were fun, but not particularly worth following up on.  It’s a surprisingly nice way to meet random people who may share some interests or a sense of humor with you.  But for actually dating? Not for me.

Again, maybe it’s just the matches that I’m getting, or maybe it’s my profile not being as “swipe-able” as the other guys on there, or maybe I’m just not giving it and the women I meet enough of a chance.  But overall, it’s a fun social tool, not a successful dating strategy, at least not in my eyes.

So to summarize: Tinder is the only one worth anything, but even that is not great for dating.  So, as a result of all this, some days I think “I’m ready to start legitimately dating again and take this seriously.”  It’s an uplifting feeling, it’s nice.

Then other days, I remember all the games and BS rules that come along with dating in our modern society and I think, “F*** that.  Not worth the headache.” 

In other words, I’m right back where I was at this time last year!  If I stumble across someone that really interests me, then I’ll ask her out.  Otherwise, forget it.

A Quick Update (Parts 3 & 4):
I have been working a ton lately.  Traveling some, going to after work events, and having long meetings resulting in long hours… It’s been good, I love the new job, even though at times it eats into my social life.  I’ve met some new people, had some fun nights, and my friends all seem to think that I have Don Draper’s job. 

When I was planning out these two blog posts earlier, I had a lot more to say about work.  It’s been moving so fast though, that I’ve forgotten what I was going to say.  So instead here’s a variety of pictures from work.

My office...

My tiny zen garden...

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The conference in Vegas 1...

The conference in Vegas 2...

The conference in Vegas 3...

The conference in Vegas 4...

End of the conference...

Don Draper 1...

Don Draper 2...


As for the house… it’s ok.  But I’m really not crazy about it.  I know I told the landlord that I would be looking to live there a long time, but I just don’t like the house enough, and I still really want to buy my own house.  So prepare yourselves to hear more about that house search in 2017. 

For those wondering about Levi and wanting an update on the old man… He’s still doing great!  He has a tumor the size of a grapefruit in his throat, and a bunch of harmless, fatty tumors all over his chest and belly.  Also, it feels like there may be some more, not-so-harmless tumors in his chest.  Despite all that, he has the energy of a puppy, and nothing seems to be slowing him down.  He’s the Benjamin Button of dogs.

For an update on my dating life, see above.

Unnamed Post-Election Blog:

Shounak and I had talked about doing a ton of post-election blogs in an attempt to calm what few people we could and hopefully have some small impact on our world.  But then life happened and I got too busy to write, and frankly lost the drive for a while there. 

So I do still have some things that I want to say and share on this topic, and I will, soon.  But for now, allow me to remind my readers of a little something…

If the election didn’t go your way:  It’s not the end of the world.  Don’t panic, don’t give in to the catastrophic mindset that has fallen over our society and that is perpetuated by 24/7 media.  Stand up for what you believe in, in a peaceful and respectful way, even if you aren’t treated with respect in turn.  Screaming at each other, fighting, and continuing to grow the divides in our society won’t accomplish anything worthwhile.  Show respect, and make an effort to understand “the other side”, because respect and understanding are the only things that will bridge these gaps.

If the election did go your way:  Congrats.  But don’t stop now, there is still work to be done.  Just because things went your way this time, doesn’t mean that there isn’t still a massive divide in this country, and it doesn’t mean that everything will magically be great again.  So…   Stand up for what you believe in, in a peaceful and respectful way, even if you aren’t treated with respect in turn.  Screaming at each other, fighting, and continuing to grow the divides in our society won’t accomplish anything worthwhile.  Show respect, and make an effort to understand “the other side”, because respect and understanding are the only things that will bridge these gaps.

We are not all as different as we are led to believe.  So stop and listen to your fellow citizens, for we must strive to find a way to respect each other and to unify once again.
                                                                                                                               
That should do it for the summaries, time to get into the real New Years blog…

Every year around this time, I write a blog with the purpose of summarizing the year behind us, and looking forward to the one ahead.  As I begin that process, and look back at 2016, I see a few bright spots that were simply wonderful… and they are surrounded by the rest of the year, which resembled a dumpster full of crap sandwiches that spontaneously combusted due to a high level of methane.

2016 began, at least for me, with such incredibly high hopes and so much promise.  The year began on so many optimistic notes (365 days ago), and yet it so quickly turned to ash.  Still, I don’t want to harp on my personal life, this blog is meant to be a look at the year for all of us…

This year we lost: David Bowie, Prince, George Michael, Allen Rickman, Leonard Cohen, and Carrie Fisher (to name only a very few). 

This year contained the most violent mass shooting in US history, and that was only one of over 340 mass shootings nationwide this year.

Multiple police brutality cases and subsequent riots took the already large divide between minorities and police, and cut it open like Jack Nicholson with an axe. 



On top of all this was the incredibly drawn out and much too long 2016 election.  It was the most demeaning and pathetic excuse for civil discourse in recent memory, and it took almost the entire year to get through it all.  Now that we have gotten through it, we are in uncharted waters… No matter what you think about the results, it’s undeniable that the country is left in a very tumultuous and unsure place. 

All of this combined to create one of the most divided (by race, location, religion, political affiliation, gender, or sexual orientation) societies in our country’s history.  And I’m not even touching on things that happened in the rest of the world, because at some point we all must stop staring at the flaming dumpster of 2016, and look forward to whatever 2017 holds.

On that note, a hope…

In the next year, I hope that you rise. 

If you’ve been knocked down, pick yourself up… there will be people there to help, whose shoulders you can stand on.

Help up those around you, let them stand on your shoulders… because when we all stand together, we are giants.

If you wish to be heard, raise your voice… but raise it in song, not anger, because the world needs more beauty and less hate.

Give a voice to the voiceless, fill the silence with song… because harmony can’t be achieved alone.

If you feel alone and afraid, stand up to your fears… because the only way to push back the darkness is to shine bright.

Be a light for those around you… because the only way we can be the shining city on the hill is if we each make the effort to shine.

If an opportunity is passing you by, reach out and grab it… you never know how high it will take you until you try.

If you can provide opportunities for others, do so… opportunities are like kites, they’re more beautiful when they fill the sky, and with enough of them, you may be able to fly.

If your goals seem unattainable, keep climbing toward them… there will always be a new horizon, but with each one you reach, you grow a little more.

Make a trail for a path that hasn’t been taken, so others can follow in your footsteps… whoever follows you, may someday lead you somewhere new.

The next year will be filled with challenges, both large and small, for each and every one of us… I hope that we can each rise to the occasion, for together we can be stronger than we ever were alone.


And finally, I will leave you with this, in honor of Leonard Cohen and the challenges we can overcome…

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