The other week one of my roommates had a small party. As a gift, my roommate received a board/drinking game version of “Never have I ever”. It came with 90 cards with good never have I ever questions, situations ranging from threesomes to picking your nose in the car… I should have prefaced this story by telling you that my roommate, despite being 22 is still fairly innocent. He’s a hard worker, devotes himself to his school work, ambitious, and isn’t going to let a bunch of probably bad decisions get in his way… Unlike me.
I wasn’t even the oldest person that played. We didn’t play the game according to any classic rules. Quite simply, if you HAD done whatever was on the card, you got a point. I ended up with 69 (yes 69 was also one of the cards I got a point for) and upon further review, 70 points… out of 90. The next closest person had 42.
I can’t really decide if I should be proud of this, or ashamed. I mean yes there may have been a few years of morals so loose it was like trying to use the shattered Ten Commandment tablets dam up Niagara Falls… but still, there’s an upside somewhere in there as well.
The way I see it, most people end up with some damn good stories to tell their friends, family, and descendants when they break the rules and go against the grain occasionally. So if I go against the grain more often than not, I’ll have an ass so full of splinters it looks like a hamburger made by a blind carpenter, AND I’ll have some absolutely awesome stories. And let’s face it, 90% of the stupid things I do, I do for the story.
As I’m writing this, I realize that I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s not much point to being ashamed. It’s not like acting sorry about things is going to successfully cover up or erase my shady decisions, so I’d may as well tell the stories right? If nothing is going to change the past, then I’d may as well glorify it and get some laughs from it…
That’s right world! I have loose morals and not only am I proud of it, but I’m going to flaunt it!