Stream of Consciousness Part 2
1.
I have recurring dreams. Sometimes it’s just a dream, other times it’s
a memory. Every once in a while though,
it won’t be a recurring dream per se, instead I’ll have a continuation of a
dream, like a sequel to a story that I had previously dreamed. Those are usually my favorite because they
tend to be easy to remember and I like being able to see what comes next.
2.
There are also recurring characters in my
dreams. Obviously the people that I know
from my real life are in there all the time.
But there are a few people that seemingly only exist in my dreams. They’re not limited to specific dreams
either; they’re in all different kinds of dreams and frequently in different ways
or roles. There is one person though
that always seems to be in the same role no matter what dream she’s in. I remember virtually everything about her
except her name, and she always fills the role of partner/love interest. (In a strange turn of events, a couple days
after jotting this thought down, I met someone who I would swear was this
person… it was kinda freaky.)
3.
Speaking of dreams, I still have nightmares on a
fairly regular basis. Some of them are
intricate and more like Ridley Scott movies (I usually love these ones) taking
place on alien worlds or during glorious action sequences. I frequently die at the end of my nightmares,
but during these adventuresome dreams my death is usually along the lines of
Bruce Willis manually detonating a nuke on an asteroid in order to save the
world.
I actually hesitate to call those kind
nightmares, seeing as I enjoy them so much.
But I can’t deny that they cause my heart to race and leave me awake and
out of breath. Meanwhile the other kind
is mundane and takes place in my day to day life with people that I know and
care about until something horrible and yet entirely believable happens. Those ones suck, and I usually can’t get back
to sleep afterward, which makes me tired, which causes me to have more
nightmares, which makes me more tired, which sometimes leads me to confuse
dream events for real life events… and that’s just no fun.
4.
Sorry to break it to you like this, but if I
know you even remotely well, chances are that you’ve died dozens of times in my
dreams. If it’s any consolation, I’m always
sad about it.
5.
One more on the subject of dreams… My absolute
favorite are the very rare, lucid dreams that I have. When I’m aware that I’m dreaming, I can
control the dream, and guide it however I want.
If you’ve never been lucky enough to have those, then I’m sorry, because
they are awesome!
6.
My friends joke about me being bad with
technology because I still have a flip phone.
I join in the jokes, I even encourage them… Hell, I make half the jokes
myself. The truth though is that I’m
actually not too shabby with tech. I
encourage the jokes because they’re funny, and the corresponding mindset
because I like it when people (especially those that don’t know me too well)
underestimate me. I don’t know why that
is.
7.
For a while I thought the same was true of my
math skills and that I was just pretending to be terrible at arithmetic. Then I realized that I haven’t been
pretending, I really am terrible at anything involving numbers...
8.
For me (due to my old flip phone), being in a
group text message is reminiscent of Raj from The Big Bang Theory being involved
in a group conversation that involves a woman.
I can hear (read) all of the conversation happening around me, but if I
want to chime in, then the most effective means to do so is to whisper (text)
to a singular person and have them relay my message to the group as a
whole.
In other words, it’s a pain in the ass.
Stop.
9.
There’s an apartment complex along my drive to
work that has some tri-color banners on small flagpoles used to accentuate the
advertising for the apartment complex.
Usually when a company does this, the banners are brightly colored and
high-contrast, so as to really draw the eye.
However these ones are the color of bacon… Brownish red, reddish brown,
and a vaguely reddish-brownish white… They don’t make me want to move there,
but they sure do make me hungry. It
doesn’t help that this complex is only a couple blocks away from Red Robin,
which always smells delicious in the afternoon.
10.
Every once in a while I realize that I am
insanely oblivious to certain things.
Most of those things (I think its “most”… like I said, I’m oblivious) center
on women and flirting. When I look back
at those types of interactions with women a day or two (or a couple years) after
they happen, it dawns on me that I’ve been a total idiot the vast majority of
the time.
11.
I don’t have Tinder or any other similar app or
account. I don’t really date, haven’t
done it in a while. But I do read a lot
of articles and blogs online, and I’ve been seeing the phrase “Watch Netflix
and chill” in reference to dating and Tinder, etc. From what I can tell, this phrase is
apparently a euphemism for something other than just actually watching Netflix
and hanging out. Why? I actually want to do THAT… I mean sex is
great (I’m guessing that’s what the euphemism is for), there’s no denying
that! But so is sitting on the couch
with some rum and cokes and a bowl of popcorn while watching Netflix. I don’t know… I just think it’s a dumb way to
tip-toe around the subject of sex, because both meanings of the phrase sound so
great.
12.
I’ve been trying to write a blog about Jon
Stewart and his departure from The Daily Show for over a month now. After more than a month’s worth of work on
it, I have one paragraph that I don’t hate, and a mostly blank page that I do
hate.
A few times a week I open up the blog, stare at it… write a couple sentences… stare at them… delete them… stare at the blankness… start to write another sentence… delete it before I even finish it… rewrite the two sentences that I wrote before… immediately delete them while making a stupid face… stare at the blankness some more… check facebook… stare at the blankness… get some water… stare… stare… close my laptop and walk away. http://www.hulu.com/watch/824441#i1,p40,s20,d1
A few times a week I open up the blog, stare at it… write a couple sentences… stare at them… delete them… stare at the blankness… start to write another sentence… delete it before I even finish it… rewrite the two sentences that I wrote before… immediately delete them while making a stupid face… stare at the blankness some more… check facebook… stare at the blankness… get some water… stare… stare… close my laptop and walk away. http://www.hulu.com/watch/824441#i1,p40,s20,d1
13.
I’m not sure why that particular blog is so
difficult to write. It’s not that I have
nothing to say on the matter, I could talk about Jon Stewart and his
contributions to media, society, and political and cultural dialogue for
days! But nothing I write on that
hideously blank page seems to be good enough… Suffice it to say, he turned that
show in to something so much bigger than anyone ever thought it could be. He gave a voice to a generation and
perspective to a society that was sorely lacking it.
15.
I think my favorite album of theirs may have
been the second one, Babel. But I don’t
think that’s due to the music or lyrics being better on that album than on the
others; I think it’s due to seeing them perform that album at Sasquatch. It wasn’t necessarily the best show I ever
saw there, but it was one of them, and the songs during that show still carry
some of the most personal and even treasured memories that I have from any of
my trips to the Gorge.
16.
I sometimes realize that I repeat the same
stories over and over at different times.
I forget who I tell things to, so I just keep telling them again and
again. At the time I’m not sure if I’m
repeating myself or if I’m just experiencing deja vu.
17.
When I was little I wouldn’t use my left hand
for anything. My parents would have to
remind me to do so at the dinner table when trying to cut my dinner with one
hand, or when doing my homework with one hand, dragging the paper all over the
desk. When I say that I wouldn’t use it,
I don’t want you to picture a young me with my left hand just resting on the
dinner table or the school desk while I did everything with my right… I would
literally let my left hand awkwardly dangle at my side, not even automatically
moving it to a comfortable position. I’m
glad I eventually got over that.
119.
2014 was a year of first steps; recognizing that
I was depressed, realizing that I needed to actually stick to a diet, finally
looking in to what it means to be financially responsible… And I’m happy to say
that ten months in to 2015, this year is all about actually following through
on those steps and making progress.
Can’t wait to see what 2016 holds.
20.
I can’t eat a Baby Ruth without thinking of that
scene in Caddyshack… You know which scene I mean…
21.
Every time I go past Donner Pass or Donner Lake
I think of Robin Williams. It’s because
of that scene in Patch Adams… It used to make me laugh a bit every time, now I
still laugh but there’s something else there too.
22.
I sometimes realize that I repeat the same
stories over and over at different times.
I forget who I tell things to, so I just keep telling them again and
again. At the time I’m not sure if I’m
repeating myself or if I’m just experiencing deja vu.
23.
This isn’t really a “stream of consciousness”
writing in that I don’t sit down and write it all in one go. Instead I sit down at night, after work, and
write for a few minutes before realizing that it’s time for dinner and I’m
hungry. Then I typically stop writing
mid sente
24.
I’ve been cooking more and more lately. I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but lately I’ve
been trying to get even more creative and fancy, even when I’m just cooking for
myself. On that note, I want some
challenges in cooking… So I’m inviting all of you to suggest three, maybe four,
random ingredients, and I will do my best to use them to make a good meal. Like a competitive cooking show!
25.
One thing I miss, is cooking for a date/girlfriend. There’s something different about cooking a
meal with romantic intentions than when cooking for myself or friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love to cook in
general, but I do miss making a romantic dinner.
26.
There’s a house in my neighborhood with a front
yard entirely covered in overgrown, potted plants. Every square foot of ground is covered by the
pots, and the plants have grown to a ridiculous height. This makes it so that the only visible part
of the house from the street is the garage, while the front door and everything
else is hidden. All I’ve ever seen of
the occupant is a little, old lady, walking down the driveway to get her
mail. All of this leads to one very
obvious conclusion about the house… It’s made of gingerbread, she’s a witch,
and the garage is just camouflage. Though
I’m sure she’s also a delightful person.
27.
My roommate has a cat, Biscuit, who is adorable,
and all-around delightful company. But lately
she’s been making it very difficult to write…
28.
I may occasionally be a jackass, but my heart is
in the right place… or so the doctor’s tell me.
29.
I have a tiny spider that lives on my computer
monitor at work. I only see him once or
twice a week, he mostly stays on the backside of the monitor. Whenever he does come around to the front of
it, he follows my mouse around on the screen.
He won’t get too close though, he’s afraid but curious. I guess seeing that curiosity in him is what
makes me not want to squish him like I have all the other spiders.
30.
Let’s say, theoretically, someone brings in a
box of donuts to your office to share with everyone; it’s a variety box with
all different kinds of tasty treats in it.
Then let’s say, theoretically, that you are trying to watch your figure
so you only want to eat half or maybe a quarter of a donut, rather than eating
the whole thing. I have no problem with
you cutting a section of a donut off for yourself, go for it!
But if it’s a jelly or cream filled donut... When you cut one of those into smaller pieces, you leave nothing but a sticky mess of disappointment for someone else… That’s messed up. Stop. Seriously, you know who you are, even if I don’t. Stop.
But if it’s a jelly or cream filled donut... When you cut one of those into smaller pieces, you leave nothing but a sticky mess of disappointment for someone else… That’s messed up. Stop. Seriously, you know who you are, even if I don’t. Stop.
31.
And finally, if you’re the only one that laughs
at your “work” jokes… Stop repeating them… It’s for your own good.
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