5.7.16

An Introduction to Mallowing...

                This blog is rated PG-13 due to mild cartoon violence.

                Today I want to talk to you about stress relief.  We’ve all had those days, weeks, or months where no matter what we do, nothing seems to go right… Maybe it’s because of work, maybe you’re in the middle of a move, perhaps money is tight, you’ve got family problems, or you’re planning a wedding.  For my part, I’ve had a stressful couple of months.  A new job, a move that ended up being more difficult than I expected, and in the last couple of weeks, a tendency to put my foot in my mouth so often I’ve started to see Nike swooshes on everything I eat. 

                Whatever the case, sometimes you need to just take the edge off…

Now, since the stress has set in, I’ve tried all kinds of different methods of stress relief… I’ve drank far too much, I’ve begun exercising again (I walked at least 5 miles every day last week).  I’ve been re-reading one of my favorite books, and you may have noticed that I’ve been writing more, a lot more.  However, through all of that, I hadn’t partaken in the greatest stress relief method of all time, not yet, not until just the other day…

I introduce you to!.... Mallowing!!

The name derives from a cat that was at the SPCA for quite a while when I worked there.  His name was Marshmallow and he was awesome.  Why we named it after him?  Who knows?

Let me give you a little tutorial, with pictures!

Ingredients:
A table or some other sort of stand, in a wide open space.



Plenty of water bottles, filled as full as you can possibly get them, so there is no air in them (or at least only a tiny amount). 


A Sharpie.


A baseball bat, or something similar (the fabled Mallower itself is the haft of an old pickaxe, without the head).


 

Step one:
Use the Sharpie to draw little angry or sad faces on the lids of the bottles.
This is done so that you can focus on that little bit of unhappiness. 



Step two:
Pick one bottle at a time, set it up, away from the others, in prime hitting real-estate.


Step three:
Wind up… I don’t necessarily mean just winding up physically, though that’s somewhat important too.  What I mean is to wind up mentally and emotionally. 

Whatever it is that is bothering you, eating away at you, depressing you, or stressing you out; focus all of that negative energy on that little unhappy face.  Take all of the things weighing on your mind and picture yourself pouring them in to that little, unhappy bottle.  All of your fear, your anger, your shame, it IS the water in that bottle, and if you don’t get rid of it, it’ll just find its way back into your mind.


Step 4:
Swing baby swing!  Keep your eye on the bottle, so you don’t miss.  But swing with all of your emotion behind it.  Hit that bottle as hard as you can and send it flying!

Since you filled it up so full, there is very little room (air) for the water to expand into.  Therefore, the bottle has a tendency to break… but that’s putting it mildly.  If you’re really putting all of your emotion into that swing, then that bottle will explode.  Case in point…


(Those two pictures were of the same bottle)

Sometimes the bottle will break open, and other times that little unhappy face will break in two…



Step 5:
Repeat until you either feel better, or you have run out of bottles.



Some of you may have already realized that this is a beginner’s course.  Mallowing lends itself to all kinds of possibilities!  Have a melon that is just going to waste in the fridge?  Want to see what happens when you shake up a Red Bull and hit it real hard?  Or a Coke with Mentos in it?  Feel free to experiment…

That being said, if you want some more assistance in simply picturing all of your negative energy in the bottle, try adding a drop or two of food coloring, or writing a phrase that has been particularly irksome to you on the bottle.


And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the world of Mallowing.  Enjoy!  


22.6.16

In Five Years Time

                A few times earlier this year I was asked, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”  I was caught off guard and ended up giving some less than mediocre answer, both times.  Afterward, I went home and I thought about it more…

                The vague answers that I had given implied a lack of ambition, or at the very least a lack of planning.  So, now that I’ve had a few months to think on the question, I think I’m finally ready to give an answer.  It may not be the answer that you’re looking for, it most likely isn’t the answer that the person who asked me was looking for… Hell, for that matter, I’m not even positive that it’s the answer that I was hoping for.  It is however, the only answer I have…


                 Where do I want to be in five years?

                In five years I want to own a home.  And I’d prefer that it not be a “starter home”.  In five years I want to own the house that I’ll be living in for a good portion of my life.  I may not live there forever, but I want it to be more than something to fix up and then turn around and sell a few years later.  I want to get to know my neighbors.  I want to invite people from the neighborhood over for a barbeque in the summer and a turkey dinner in the winter.  I want a yard, with plants, fruit trees, and a small garden.  In five years, I want to own a home, not a house. 



                In five years I want to have financial security.  I’m not saying that I want to be rich, or never have to worry about money again.  I’m simply saying that I want to have enough income that I know I don’t have to wonder whether or not I’m going to be able to pay my bills on time.  I want to have enough income that I can set aside a bit of money to pursue my dreams, to travel, to have hobbies.  Financial security, to me, doesn’t mean being Oprah rich.  It means exactly what it says, have enough money that I can feel a sense of security and stability in my life.  That’s what I want in five years. 


                In five years I want to actually be writing.  Not these blog posts, and not the starts and stops that I so frequently do; getting 15 pages into a story, then never looking at it again.  I want to be seriously writing.  Whether it’s more than a hobby at that point or not, doesn’t matter.  I enjoy the feeling of creating worlds, creating life, and placing the beauty of it all on the page.  I want to help other people see the power of language and imagination.  I want to make people think, I want to make them feel emotions.  I want to move people to laughter and to tears.  In five years, I want to show people the immensity and the majesty of the world though language.

                In five years I want to have submitted an audition tape for Survivor.  Whether I get on or not is another matter, and frankly not as important.  I know it seems silly to most of you, and maybe it is, to an extent.  I think for my sake, I just want to prove that I can follow through on something that I’ve always wanted to do.  In five years I want to have finally reached for that one dream, even if it’s only to prove to myself that I can reach for any of my dreams.

                In five years I want to have traveled more.  I want to have gone to Scotland, Australia, back to Alaska, maybe even to Borneo to meet an Orangutan (since Terry Pratchett died, I’ve been looking in to Orangutans… they’re really quite amazing).  I don’t want to go just to go.  I don’t want to go through the usual tourist traps.  I want to go for the stories.  I want to go off the beaten path and see things that will change me.  I want to experience life in someone else’s world, even if only for a moment.  In five years I want my world to have grown.

                In five years I want to be in love.  I want to be with someone who makes me smile simply by being present.  I want to have someone to share my life with.  I want someone to take dancing, someone to watch bad movies with; someone who, when they’re having a bad day, I can make them feel better just by holding them.  I want someone who will laugh at my terrible jokes and someone who will tell me when I do something stupid, then be there to help me fix it.  I want to be with someone who wants to understand me and who wants to, every once in a while, see the world through my eyes, while also wanting to show me the world through theirs.  I want to be able to cook a nice dinner for someone every Tuesday, because Tuesdays are the worst day of the week and we should have something to look forward to.  In five years, I don’t want to be alone.


                All of these things that I want, all of these hopes, plans, and dreams for five years’ time… will all of these be fulfilled?  No… of course not.  But all of them have one common theme.  That’s what I realized while thinking about this question.  The next time someone asks me that, I could give any one of these answers, or something more professional, or maybe something vague and unsatisfying again.  No matter how I choose to answer it in the future, I’ll know the one thing that I’ll always want… You could take away any or all of the hopes I listed above, as long as you left me with this one…

                In five years, I want to be happy.

                It’s a simple request, and yet at the same time it’s so damned complicated.  When I was a child I thought, “It’s easy to be happy, you just decide to be and then you are!”  Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, that changed.  Happiness is fleeting, it’s rare, and it shows up in one aspect of life just to abandon you in another.  It’s a challenge.  It’s difficult.  And yet, it may be the only goal truly worth striving for, because every other goal is just a step toward this one.

                Like I said at the beginning, this isn’t the answer you were expecting, and probably isn’t what you were hoping to find.  I’m sure it’s not what the person asking me the question wanted to hear.  But when I asked myself the question, this is the answer I came up with, and I don’t care what anyone else wants to hear, because this is the best answer I have.


                So, ask yourself… Where do want to be in five years?

18.6.16

A Reminder

           It’s been a while since I posted anything.  This year has been insane, a lot of changes, all at once.  It’s been wonderful!  But also incredibly stressful.  I’ve missed writing these posts, they tend to help me relax, they allow me to get things off my mind and on to paper instead…
                
           The last few years I had fallen in to a routine.  The same house, the same job, the same schedule, the same everything, day after day after day after day.  As I’ve documented on here a few times, that sameness and that routine didn’t help my mental state very much, I needed some change… Well, now that the change has come, life is moving pretty fast, and changing along with my life, is my state of mind. 
                
           I’m not saying that everything is great.  I’m not saying that introducing some change to my life has suddenly caused the sun to start shining, the birds to be singing, and for chimney sweeps to be dancing on roof tops…


With all this change comes a different mental state.  I can’t quite explain it yet.  It’s not bad, but it’s not always good either.  It’s kind of like the power flickering during a storm; the lights are on, everything’s fine, then suddenly for just a couple seconds (or a day or two), everything goes dark.  The lights come back on quickly, but there’s still that question, “what if they don’t?”

Ultimately, these are my issues, they don’t concern any of my readers, and they are certainly problems that I have learned how to handle.  I’m not writing this blog just for me and my neuroses today.  I’m writing it for those of you out there who may need a reminder.

For those of you whose lives have fallen into a routine that spirals downward with no end in sight, or for those of you who feel like you have so much going on that you can’t breathe.  This post is for you. 

Everyone has times when they struggle.  Maybe life feels stagnant and you just want some change, something to spark in your life.  Or maybe you’re at the opposite end of the spectrum and you feel the demands of the world closing in, overwhelming you, and you simply need a break. 

I’m not an expert, and chances are that I don’t know how to help you specifically.  Maybe though, all you need is a reminder… A reminder to:

Try something new.  I know it can be scary, but breaking out of your comfort zone can give you the opportunity to experience something you never would have thought possible.  Each of our lives are full of limitless opportunities, but we sometimes allow ourselves to believe that how things are now, is the only way they can ever be.  We tell ourselves stories and convince ourselves that the job/relationship/home/routine that we are currently in is the only one we could reasonably be in for some reason or another… but it’s not true.  Break the mold, do something new, something that scares you, even if it’s something small.  It may lead to greater things than you realize.

Take time to do the things that make you happy.  When our lives get busy and hectic, it’s easy to let the little things, the things that we don’t view as “essential”, fall in to obscurity.  We shove them aside and say “tomorrow, next week, some other time”.  But those little things, those things we don’t think are important, they’re what make us smile and provide us with an escape, no matter how temporary.  Even though they may seem like a waste of valuable time, don’t forget that your happiness is just as valuable, if not more.

Just breathe.  Life can overwhelm us in an instant, and other times it happens slowly, over years.  When it seems like all is lost, when it seems like there is no end in sight, don’t forget to take time to just breathe.  Go outside, go alone, and let go of it all, even if only for a moment. 

Lean on the people who are there for you.  Your friends, your family, whomever it may be, there are people in your life that care, and that want to help.  Maybe they don’t know how to say it, maybe they assume you know they’re there, or maybe neither of you wants to be the one to speak up.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, you may not always get it, but it won’t hurt to ask.  Sometimes all you need is someone to listen to you, and I promise that if you ask, there will be someone there for that. 

Take one step at a time.  Nothing will be fixed overnight.  If you try to solve everything at once and in one fell swoop, you’re only adding to your stress.  I know this may not be what you want to hear, but chipping away at your problems, little by little, is far more effective than balling up everything bothering you and trying to get rid of it all at once. 


Never give up.  I've felt hundreds of times (and still do occasionally) that I'd be better off if I scrapped everything and retreated into a life of quiet solitude.  Sometimes I just want to retreat from one part of life; work, home, friends, finances, etc. Other times I want to leave it all behind and start somewhere new with a clean slate.  But it won't work... that retreat is what the monsters under my bed and in my head want.  As annoying/painful/frivolous as all the little things and connections may seem at the moment, they are the only things that have ever truly pulled anyone out of a downward spiral. So don't run away, don't retreat inside yourself and think that this will pass on its own.  Always strive, no matter how arduous that journey may seem.

                To summarize, we all need reminders now and again, myself most certainly included.  So remember:
Try something new
                Who knows what it could lead to?

Take time to do the things that make you happy
                No matter how small they may seem, they’re important.

Breathe
                With each breath, the world will slow down for you.

Lean on the people that are there for you
                There are people that care, and they may surprise you.

Take one step at a time
                When climbing a mountain, one step at a time is more effective than trying to jump over the whole thing.

Never give up
                Running from your problems will never solve them, they’ll just follow you in some way.


5.4.16

A Quick Update

                At the beginning of this year I didn’t exactly make a new year’s resolution.  Instead I promised myself that I would keep an open mind, and enjoy life as it happened to me.  I didn’t want to try to force my life in to a specific direction; instead I wanted to be sure that I kept it moving forward, no matter what that entailed.

                Now that we’re a few months into the year, I’m happy to report that this pseudo-resolution seems to be the most successful one I’ve ever made!  The last couple of months have been absolutely insane, but in a great way.

                I’ve begun the search for a new place to live, with the goal of being out of this house (which I’ve been in for the last seven years) by the beginning of June.  I’ve considered buying a house and have talked to a mortgage lender and a couple realtors in regards to that thought.  However, after looking at what I could be approved for and the housing market in Reno as it is now, I’m fairly certain I’m going to find a place to rent for another year, and reconsider buying next year.  Nonetheless, I’m excited about the prospect of a new place.  I’ve loved this house for the last seven years, but a change of scenery would be welcome.


                Secondly, I’ve been thinking of leaving my job for years now, wanting to find something new… That time has finally come around.  I gave my two weeks’ notice not too long ago, and will start my new job around the middle of this month. 

                It’s a great opportunity, and as scary as it is to leave a job where I had so much job security, it’s a prospect that I just can’t pass up.  There will be new networking opportunities, chances to grow professionally, and to really expand my horizons in order to find out more of what I’m capable of.  So although I’m nervous, it’s a very good and exciting kind of nervousness coursing through me at the moment.

                Finally, I’ve gone on a couple dates that I’ve really enjoyed.  At this point I’m going to be a little quiet on the subject... on the off chance that she reads this, I’ll be a tad embarrassed.  Still, I feel I should say something, because it's certainly worth mentioning...

This is the first time in years that someone has given me that old, schoolyard feeling of butterflies in my stomach.  Not to mention that I get a big, dumb grin plastered onto my face after every time I see her. 

On top of that, I so far seem to have avoided lodging my foot firmly in my mouth; and have somehow kept myself from revealing that I’m about as smooth as Michael J. Fox wearing a wing-suit in a hurricane.  No matter what happens from this point on, those things have all got to be good signs for my future. 

    

To summarize this quick update, my decision at the beginning of the year, to simply act on the opportunities that life presents me in 2016, has thus far been a wise one.  These past couple of months have certainly kept me on my toes, but they’ve been great.  So I’ll enjoy these changes as I look forward to the rest of the year.

I hope that some of you have been having a similar experience and that, no matter what, you’re keeping yourselves open to the chances that life presents you.  Not everything will turn out perfectly, but if you keep an open mind, you can see the good and the bad and make your decisions accordingly.

As a quick ending note, it may be due in large part to daylight savings time, or the nice weather (or possibly my Fitbit subtly blinking in order to encourage me to get up and do something), but I’ve been getting out and hiking more lately.  The weather is wonderful, and (assuming you’re in Reno as you read this) we live in a beautiful place for getting outside.  So go for a hike, a run, ride a bike, whatever suits you… and maybe we’ll see each other floating down the river soon. 

23.2.16

Quick question, WTH is going on?

I have a question.  It could be a rhetorical one, but if someone can give me a response, especially a well thought out one, I’d sure appreciate it…

Today (02/23/16) Nevada held its republican caucus, and so far in the republican race for the nomination, Donald Trump is commanding a significant lead over the competition… That’s right, Donald Trump… is winning… Which brings me to my question. 

Dear republicans, WHAT THE FUCK?!

Real quick, I’d like to take a moment to remind you all of some of the greatest moments in the history of the Republican Party; because I feel like the GOP has become vilified in recent years, especially by my own generation (though this could be in part due to the RNC’s total inability to handle their own shit). 

First and foremost, please oh please remember, that the first Republican president is still commonly considered one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) president in our history, and one of the greatest leaders in world history… Abraham Lincoln.

That’s right, if you weren’t aware, Lincoln was a Republican.  And only 6 years before he was elected, was when the Republican Party was formed.  Why was it formed?  Well its primary goal was to stop the spread of slavery into the western territories, and to work on abolishing it from the US entirely.  Guess what?  They succeeded.  After an incredible amount of political strife, war, and blood spilled. (Jefferson Davis was the president of the Confederate States during the Civil War.  Know what political party he belonged to?  Hint: it starts with a “D” and rhymes with “Bemocrat”.)

Moving on… Women’s suffrage!  Remember when women weren’t allowed to vote because the common belief was that their brains were smaller than men’s, and that meant that they were too dumb to engage in politics?  The Republican Party, led by Senator Aaron Sargent of California, stood by Susan B. Anthony and suffrage movement.  They eventually proposed and passed the 19th amendment to the constitution in order to allow people to vote regardless of the genitalia they possess… you know, common sense stuff. 

Later, under the guidance and leadership of another great American president (Theodore Roosevelt, my personal favorite), who happened to be a Republican, the Panama Canal was built.  Think of the incredible engineering feat that the canal still is to this day… and how vital it still is to trade routes and economies around the world.   

Do you recall when children weren’t allowed to go to certain schools based upon the color of their skin?  About 60 years ago?  Remember how ridiculous the idea of segregated schools was?  It was an idea that was upheld and perpetuated by the Democratic Party, and was eventually overturned by Dwight Eisenhower and the Republican Party.  He then sent in the military as a show of force in Little Rock, AR in order to ensure that the Little Rock Nine could go to whichever school they damn well pleased, no matter their skin tone, against the vehement wishes of the Democratic governor of Arkansas.

56 years ago the Civil Rights Act was signed by Eisenhower.  It took him almost a week to sign it though… because 18 Democratic senators filibustered it for 125 hours straight (that’s a solid 5 days + 5 hours). 

Ronald Reagan championed and signed the United Nations Convention Against Torture throughout his presidency.  He was extremely vocal in his stance against any form of torture against anyone in the world, for any reason whatsoever, as is stated in the Convention that he signed. 

Under primarily Republican leadership, the US “won” the Cold War with one of the largest military superpowers in the history of mankind, the Soviet Union.  How this came about was extremely complex and some aspects of the “victory” were beautifully executed, other were, admittedly, not great… (Training and supplying afghan rebels, including Osama Bin Laden, for war and ONLY war… yeah… don’t do that.)  Still, won the Cold War without launching a single attack or declaring war.

Sure, the Republican Party has taken a sharp downturn in morality and effectiveness in recent years, but hopefully this list has so far reminded you why the Republican Party is called the Grand Old Party.  And hopefully you’ll remember\realize that in history, no one’s hands are truly clean…  


Now, let’s take a look at the values and the history of the current Republican front runner for the nomination… Donnie Trump…
 
            Donnie thinks he knows what qualifies someone as “presidential” and what doesn’t… For instance, a president doesn’t take a bathroom break and doesn’t look like this… 

But DOES look like this…

















            And while Donnie consistently got out of any military service in his youth, despite his “astonishingly excellent” health… He does apparently know what constitutes a war hero, and what doesn’t… 

            Also, Donnie says that he knows better how to deal with Black Lives Matter protesters than Bernie Sanders does…  Meanwhile…  And… 

            Let’s also not forget Donnie’s opinion of women:

            Or, remember that time he called Ted Cruz a “pussy”  because he wouldn’t say he condoned waterboarding?

            Perhaps you’d like to be reminded of his opinion on Muslims and Syrian refugees?  

            
            In summary, the GOP over the last decade has been portrayed as old, out of touch, combative, discriminatory, and frankly a teensy bit annoying.  But that party was great once.  There was a time when the Republican Party was a shining beacon of morality and hope that led us through some of the darkest moments in our history. 

            Some of those times weren’t so long ago, in fact, many of them took place during the lifetimes of every single one of the current presidential candidates… which begs the question, how did things get this fucked up?

            Donnie claims that he wants to “Make America Great Again” (a slogan which he stole, word for word from Reagan’s campaign in 1980)… Well, back when the Republican Party was great; during the abolition of slavery, the women’s suffrage movement, the civil rights movement, and the cold war era, it was great because it stood against everything that Trump stands for. 

            When I originally started writing this, I intended for it to be funny.  I wanted to poke fun at Donnie and point out just how ludicrous he is.  But that’s because I started writing it months ago.  He’s not funny anymore.  I mean, he is, kind of… but more than that, he scares me.  He genuinely scares me. 

            Maybe it’s my paranoia speaking to me, but when I look back at history, Trump’s political rise is eerily similar to how some of the worst dictators in human history came to power: 

They pandered to a nation that was angry, a nation that was tired of the status quo and that felt it had been abused by the powers that be. 

They spoke about using a strong hand, and taking back what was theirs.  These men promised retribution and dominance through strength.

They whipped their crowds into a frenzy.  They demeaned their opponents, implying that they were less than human, and certainly not fit to lead.

Anyone not involved in the movement dismissed it as a spectacle, sure to pass in no time.
However, when people would protest against them, the leaders would encourage their followers to use violence in order to silence the protesters. 

When the violence grew, they institutionalized it, creating their own security organizations. 

While all of this happened, the anger in the nation grew, and those that opposed the party began to show fear.  Fear of speaking out against these men, fear of the violence they used, but most of all a fear of the anger that was washing over the nation.

Those that sat back and didn’t participate believed that the anger would pass.  They believed that it was a phase, that perhaps the anger was necessary, for a time; but that the leaders of the movement were too extreme, and that they would never be able to accomplish what they promised, so why worry?

The nation became divided between those that gave into the anger and became a part of the frenzy, and those that stood by, believing that this extremism wouldn’t last, and that it couldn’t happen to them. 

The few voices that remained against the movement were either silenced or forced to leave their homes.

Then Poland was invaded.

This, ladies and gents, is the story of how the National Socialist German Workers’ Party came into power under a man named Adolf Hitler. 

            I know, I know… people throw around Hitler comparisons all the time, and it gets dismissed as hyperbole… and maybe that’s all this is, maybe I’m overreacting.  But encouraging violence from his followers, claiming that victory (even over unknown adversaries) is a necessity at any cost, dehumanizing anyone who opposed him as well as an entire religion, and manipulating a tidal wave of anger, hatred, and fear… those were the cornerstones of Hitler’s rise to power. 

            Back then people believed that it couldn’t happen to them, they believed that reason would win out over fear and hatred.  They were wrong.  So I ask you, is there a possibility, even a small one, that we’re wrong too?  And is that possibility a risk that we are willing to take?


            Finally, I will end this post on a humorous note.  After all, if I learned anything from Professor Remus Lupin of Hogwarts, it’s that the best way to overcome our fears, is to laugh at them.  Also, let’s be honest… as scary as Trump can be, anyone would be hard pressed to find an easier target for jokes.

            I’m not saying that he’s an idiot whose grasp of the English language maxes out after 140 characters.  

            I’m not saying that he’s actually Biff Tannen from Back to the Future or that he reminds me of an older, vaguely American Augustus Gloop on the verge of falling into a river of chocolate.

            Also, I would never say that his list of past marriages resembles spam from a mail-order bride website.

            And I would certainly never say that his grasp on reality is thinner than his hair.

            You know what’s really disgusting though?  What’s really disgusting is the people that say he looks like a misshapen, lumpy scrotum that lost a fight with a cheap can of spray-on-tan, or that his hair looks like a merkin (don’t know what a merkin is?  Google it, thank me later.) 


            I would also never point out that his fingers are freakishly short (Google that too) and paired with his face and his attitude, frequently remind me of Chucky.

            No, I would never say any of these things.  In fact, the people that DO say these things, they’re disgusting and rude.  It’s horrible.  Just horrible.  Who would say that?  Not me, I’m not gonna say that, no.  But I can’t control what other people say, they’re very passionate after all.  I can’t stop them from saying those things.


            I will say this though… don’t forget that Donnie wants to bang his daughter…